Keep in mind, in reality (not the alternate reality that we’ll get to in a moment), Checker actually did realize that at some point it would have to finally update its ’50s-era design to something more modern, and experimented with some all-new, more efficient, more modern Checker cab designs in the late 1970s, using a stretched Volkswagen Rabbit and similarly-elongated Chevy Citation as bases. Check also tried designing a new cab from scratch (well, Checker-scratch, which meant liberally borrowing mechanical components from all of the Big Three) called the Galva (middle bottom):
The VW and Citation options were found to be unsuitable as cabs for a variety of reasons, because being a city cab is a very specific combination of ruggedness, roominess, ease and economy of repair and maintenance, and a general willingness to withstand abuse, all while hauling around a lot of people and a lot of stuff. The old Marathon, while severely outdated, was rugged and roomy and well-understood. The internal Galva project was highly informed by decades of practical experience working with taxis, and had features like cheap, easily replaceable flat-glass windows and possibly plastic, easily removable fenders and hoods. There were solid ideas, but Checker wasn’t in a position, financially or otherwise, to pull off a project of that scale. That’s where The Bishop comes in, full of ideas and the grand benefit of not having to deal with reality to make them happen. Our Bishop imagines a reality where Checker actually did manage to pull off a new taxicab design — one based on the lessons the company learned, and one that is clearly derived from their Galva project experience. And, speaking of reality, let’s take a moment to remember what mid-’70s to early ’80s New York City, the native land of this cab, was like: a craphole. A dirty, crumbling craphole where everyone seemed to be incredibly pissed off all the time. The opening scene from the 1976 movie Marathon Man I always felt kind of encapsulates what the perpetually-pissed streets of NYC were like:
Big, lumbering cars, driven by assholes over poorly-maintained roads, recklessly. That’s the environment. So, here’s the car The Bishop imagines for The Next Checker: the Millenium.
Built on a GM 1977-1990 B Body (like the Chevy Impala) or C Body (Cadillac Fleetwood) chassis, Checker could leverage GM’s industrial might and avoid the hassle of developing its own platform. Here’s how The Bishop describes it:
While a hatchback/wagon makes the most sense for maximum space, there is some kind of unwritten rule taxi/limo rule that passengers want to be seperated from their cargo…smelly wet suitcases should be neither seen nor sniffed. The New Checker would be a sedan with a slight wedge shape front to back for a large trunk (sort of like they did with the criminally underrated design of the Leyland P76 which can hold a 55 gallon drum in its boot). The boxy body there is actually hiding an awful lot of really clever taxi innovations: Of course I’m a huge fan of the dual-taillight setup, which really would be useful in this car’s native habitat of bumper-to-bumper traffic, and those tall mirrors on the B-pillar are an absolutely brilliant idea that probably could have saved so many cyclists from taking a cab door right to the face. The sort of targa-bar looking thing on the B pillar houses tall, skinny mirrors for passenger to look into so they do not open their door onto a moving bicycle or something You have to take into account people that might have lots to carry, so there would be a luggage rack on the trunk lid (maybe with retracting straps?). Those big rubber bumpers, looking a lot like the experimental safety cars of the 1970s, are designed to really deal with the misery of big city life, absorbing impacts and self-restoring, like the 5 mph bumper standards of 1974 demanded, anyway. There’s a lot in this design that’s very specific to the brutality that taxis face, so body parts should be cheap and easy to replace: That luggage rack The Bishop mentions has an even cooler element to it, too: No wheel covers, of course..they’d just end up being stolen or in the bushes at the end of that turn near the Holland Tunnel. The side and back glass is flat (windshield could just a GM B Body piece), BUT the frames it sits in is slightly curved and painted black to give the illusion of curved side glass. Checker would have needed to keep costs down, and flat replacement glass would not only cost less, but it makes it easier to retrofit the panels with ballistic material if needed (add some teargas dispensers, primitive run flats, land mine floor plates and we’re ready for a security force of a third world despot). At the back the bumper does not make a full loop since the trunk lid is there, but a built-in illuminated banner above the taillights would make some ad revenue from gentlemen’s clubs and be easy to change out. It’s not like you need to access a keyhole since the trunk (and both rear doors) could be solenoid released by giant buttons up front.” Look how clever this is: I love that. Simple, but effective for occasional over-loaded luggage use, even if it’d cut into rearward visibility. Checker would be building the bodies for these, and as such would be quite different from what GM was building for these chassis on their cars. For example, they’d have the raised rear roof:
The Bishop has also imagined some different-length wheelbase versions and a wagon version, all of which parallel variations of the Marathon Checker made over the course of its working life:
The interior also reflects the grim reality of the time and place, and is designed accordingly:
While most of the dashboard and instruments would be stock parts-bin GM stuff, Checker would also include a taxi-specific Checker Command Center on a positionable arm: The front door armrests are actually ‘tunnels’ to channel A/C to the rear passengers (which leaves a void where drivers would likely be bound to hide a billy club, pistol, etc.)”
This pod would include the expected fare meter, buttons to open the solenoid-actuated rear doors and trunk lid, rear A/C controls, rear window/lock controls, a display area for the driver’s Taxi License, and even an optional installation of an Etak Navigator, the first commercially-available nav system for cars, first released in 1985. Here’s a little video of what the system looked like, in all its green-phosphor vector goodness:
The Etak Navigator was actually bankrolled by Atari founder Nolan Bushnell, for an extra little bit of ’80stastic trivia. I have to say that of all the what-if, alternate-world car scenarios The Bishop has given us, I feel like this one could have been the most successful. If Checker had been in just a bit better of a financial position, a rugged, well-thought-out, highly purpose-designed vehicle like the Checker Millenium could have actually lived up to its name, keeping Checker the default choice for cabs well into the early 2000s, when they’d likely have to consider a new, more fuel- and emissions-efficient update. Of course, New York became a more gentle place in the 1990s and later, so perhaps the almost brutalist utility of the Millenium would have seemed out of place. Or, perhaps it could have become a design icon like its lumpy ancestor? Our reality prevents us from ever knowing, but I can say I’d find a Checker Millenium to be a welcome safe, wheeled haven in the alternate-universe 1980s New York shithole. Also, you cannot design a NYC (or other big city) cab without a drain hole for the passenger section. It’s just a standard requirement. Seriously, it’s one of the best movies of the 1970s that not everyone knows about but totally should. Amazing cast, insanely good plot, and every single scene just works (and then some). It’s nearly perfectly executed. Or maybe should I just say…it’s not safe. https://youtu.be/6FqcJNOFL3A Even had Ford Taurus police cars. Of course being strictly Old Skool, I was sad to see the original Marathon design go away. Retiring them made practical sense, but they were as iconic as San Francisco cable cars. They also could take a lot of beating and banging, more probably than any of their replacements.
- Had to look up the Leyland P76. That’s an unfortunate looking car. 2. The sketch of the Command Center shows the dash of a Caprice Classic behind it. I grew up in those (green ’77, white ’80, black ’85ish, maroon ’89). I can still see the Fleur de lis logo on the dash between the vents.
What really killed their car production was David Markin deciding it was no longer worth the hassle, given how profitable their sheet metal stamping contracts with GM were and how many labor problems they had been having on the assembly line (Checker had probably the worst relations with the UAW in the industry, rivaled only by International Harvester, which is saying something for the time). I think there was concern over the relations with GM, too, in that they were starting to get more serious about wanting Checker out of the police and taxi market and had been steadily raising prices on engines to either push Checker’s MSRP too high to compete or squeeze their margins, and there was a question over whether it was worth risking further antagonizing GM with a barely profitable new car when they were getting so much valuable business from them with the stamping
So for GM to farm out this big-fleet-car production to someone else and free up space for FWD civilian stuff would make sense for them…sort of. Anyway, this is fake reality, right???
Also, years after he stopped cab production at Checker, David Markin was a victim of Bernie Madoff, which is supposedly what finally put the nail in the coffin of Checker in any form. The factory has been torn down but the Checker test track still remains!!: https://wrkr.com/checker-test-track-kalamazoo/ It’s like saying “person trained in the field of medicine” instead of just doctor. You could just describe him as he claims…i.e., car designer, automotive designer, automotive stylist or some such. Like saying doctor, you don’t need to know his credentials unless you curious if he is medical doctor, chiropractic doctor, PhD doctor or other. You certainly don’t need to put that in the title of the article. I’ll buy that for a dollar! https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/robocop/images/3/37/Bixby_Snyder.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20180405011326
